Wednesday, December 22, 2010

New Sites

Created a promotional site for local metal bands in and around the central valley and bay area. I've got 4 bands on now and working on 2 more. It's mainly for updates on shows, tours, album and track releases, what have you, but I eventually want to book some shows under the label name 'Apex Promotion' begining in 2011.

check it ---> Apex Promotion

This was kind of a beta tester to stretch what I can do with photoshop along with some light html coding. So far It looks passable =)

Also created an online portfolio on my old tripod account. Simple design but I'm liking it.

check this also --> Apocryphal Visual

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


This may come as a late realization, but its sad how genuinely shallow people can be. It seems everyone judges one another by superficial standards and size people up to face value. Much as a lot of people are, worth their face value, they gauge those around them.

Even personal friendships and close nit trust can be broken by situational circumstance, Peoples bonds are broken by time and the way people can change easily. People abandon others as quickly as the tides change. People will follow trends of being best friends and then in the same day openly talk shit based on who is around them. People are fallible, and trust can only run as deep as the person who holds it.

I think its funny how we are social creatures and ultimately need interaction yet we simulaniusly compete in a sub-conscious fashion, based on status or social position, or simply use this interaction for personal gain. No one is truly selfless, no ones caring and apathy extends past their own selfishness.

Sometimes it feels like im standing waist deep in the ocean having each wave crash on me waiting for it to stop, but the ocean never stops

Went and recorded a new track yesterday with Az'rael, along with re-amping some old tracks, and I must say it went pretty well. I'm loving the production quality as well as the songs themselves, I feel like I'm accomplishing more as a band and stretching past musical limitations that I once had. Can't wait to finish the full length.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


So I was super stoked cause I booked a show with Ion Dissonance @ Virtual on November 20th for Az'rael. However half way through their 'Portals' tour they had decided to drop off due to their merch providers not coming through with what they needed for the road. This sucks, but we still will be playing with Within the Ruins, Structures, and Arsonist get all the Girls (again..) so whatever... Stay in Canada you pompous bastards.


other notable prog/tech/metal bands of choice::

Premonitions of War
Tome of Goetia
Winter Sun
The Story so Far
Rings of Saturn (we recorded at the same place ;)
Organic Consumption (ditto ;;)

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Hallow's eve

Spookfest 2010

defiantly shat upon Fear 2009

Got to see Dj Shadow which I've always wanted to. He mixed his old classics and made them sort of D&B, house, and dubstep style. So awesome, He was in this giant rotating sphere that projected the imagery on itself, it was pretty red, he became the Death Star at one point. Also saw Wolfgang Garther, Steve Aoki, MSKRET, LA Riots, Underworld and Data Life. The first 'massive' I've been to excluding lovefest.

anyways listening to 'surrounded by light' off of kaleidescope. gnite.

Friday, October 22, 2010

From a Second Story Window

Seminal album 'Conversations' is a huge step from their first cd 'Delenda' which was predominantly deathcore-ish. This cd has much more melody and progressive elements to add a more obscure approach to the standardized structure and paradigms metal seems to follow these days. FASSW actually broke up after this cd was released (as many bands do at their prime). Apparently its a concept album with the lyrical basis about conversations the singer had with different vagrants and homeless people while on tour. Original to say the least.

I went to the Pumpkin patch last night with Nicole, Brad, Miranda, and Ricky. It was pretty fun we completed the witch maze in like 20min due to my extensive navigation skills ")

Then pumpkin blaster haha

More notable bands of the moment

Iron Thrones
Partisan Turbine
Animals as Leaders
Odious Mortem
Beneath the Massacre

Also I noticed how hard the first band was hard to type 'Anamnesis' and I found out their name is the theory that Socrates created. Plato said if we don't know the true nature of virtue or what knowledge truly is then how can we attempt to search for it? If we know nothing of its attributes then we can't know what we're looking for, even if we should cross it we would not recognize it. Converse to that, if we do recognize and understand virtue and knowledge, then we don't really have a need to search for it.

Socrates response is 'Anamnesis'. The theory that the soul is immortal, and therefore incarnated repeatedly. 'Knowledge' is actually in the soul from eternity, but each time the soul is incarnated its knowledge is forgotten from the shock of birth. What one perceives to be learning, is in fact the recovery of what one has forgotten. The re attainment of one's true knowledge and virtue.

Plato elaborates later saying that our senses are of error and cannot be trusted. That 'Anamnesis' can be achieved when one perceives life through their soul, and and not our senses.

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Phantom Time Hypothesis

This is pretty far fetched and hard to buy but pretty interesting. According to this, a large part of written history didn't actually happen, theres no substantial proof of anything that existed before the 11th century and that history as we know it was actually fabricated between the 11th and the 16th century and refined in the 18-19th century.

"Phantom time hypothesis is a theory developed by Heribert Illig which suggests that the Early Middle Ages (614–911 AD) never occurred, meaning that all artifacts attributed to this time period are from other times and that all historical figures from this time period are outright fabrications. Other people who have written essays in support of the phantom time hypothesis include Hans-Ulrich Niemitz, Christoph Marx, Angelika Müller, Uwe Topper and Manfred Zeller. The vast majority of historians believe this theory to be incorrect, as all cited evidence can be considered circumstantial. As such, it is generally considered to be pseudohistory."


This theory proclaims that English, Egyptian, Chinese, Japanese, Greece, Roman and all other ancient written histories are based on documentation, texts, and artifacts that are made by people and that which are refered to as 'primary sources' can't be proven to be 'objectively true'. That notable places of history, the Pyramids, the Great Wall, the Colosseum, castles and other ancient ruin are dated based on speculation, apparently carbon dating can have a margin of error that's plus or minus 1500 years. 1500 years. That's a huge margin or error. Most ancient architecture doesn't have any evidence proving its older than 1000 years. Much as mythologies were developed by imagination so allegedly were the milestone events of history. It also claims as proof of this theory that some histories of different origins contradict each other. That certain events could not have happened if other events took place.

All documents of history is asserted to be believed that it was created much more recent than what is written, and all events this is written happened at a different time, or are outright fabrications.

There are gaps in written history of which there is no accountable evidence of what happened or who existed. Theres an especially largely unknown part within the Middle Ages between 614 - 911 BC of which hardly any physical evidence from that era exists. They claim that the Roman Catholic church had forged written documents of this era of history and had this embraced by society during the medieval times to be believed. Allegedly the Roman Catholic church may have re-written several important parts of written history and manipulated sacred historical documents that the world uses as a reference, like the Bible for example.

In 1582, the Gregorian calendar we still use today was introduced by Pope Gregory XIII to replace the outdated Julian calendar which had been implemented in 45 BC. It was created to correct a 10 day discrepancy in the Julian calender. According to the new calender, and the re-calculation of history, there has been 1600 years that passed since the Julian calender started, but this allocation of years had accounted for a 13 day discrepancy, not ten. If it was only a 10 day error it would have only accounted for 1200 years. So with the creation of this new calender, that we still use today, developed an extra 300 years on our timeline. There is evidence showing other large gaps of history extending a few hundred years and parts of history that overlap, like a given rulers reign would overlap another rulers era of the same area and time in the world. This could not happen.

All the evidence we use today to account for history is based upon accumulated written documents from around the world that is no more than 1000 years old. All these documents, texts, and artifacts tell stories of events in history that happened hundreds of years before they were actually documented, that these evens were passed down as stories and fables and written hundreds of years after they actually happened.

There is no actual legitimate proof that Jesus Christ, Julius Caesar, Genghis Khan, and Alexander the Great existed when history claims they have, or that they even existed at all. There has been evidence that documented time frames that were identified by the reign of a specific 'ruler' we're extended by their history writing scholars who depicted them to have a longer, more credible lineage. Chinese Dynasty's, Egyptian and Roman eras may have been extended a few hundred years to add power and significance to its history.

Basically, written history from the last 2500 years is largely based on speculation and circumstance. History was written by scholars, not scientists, to roughly apply the famous events of history to our new Gragorian calender. There was was no science of defining historical accuracy before the 1800's, and even today its hard to determine the age of anything above 1000 years.

Biggest fallacy in world history ever, if this is true.

One of the arguements that allegedly prove against this outlandish claim are the determining of when eclipses occur.

"*Eclipses allow the calculation of the historical rate of rotation of the Earth and match the predicted lengthening of the day due to tidal effects of the moon with high precision. Even millisecond errors in the calculation would have accumulated and resulted in the eclypse being observed thousands of kilometers away from the reported location. Many independent historical eclypse reports going back as far as 700 BCE are in agreement with the traditional historical timeline"

So apparently eclipses that have been reported throughout history sync up with when and where they scientifically assumed to have happened.

It's crazy to think but the historical events that shaped society and civilization, including those which created religions and other monuments of the world, may not have even happened.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Truth

So on Tuesday night I went and did something I wanted to do for about 8 years now. I saw Bleeding Through live @ the Virtual. I got there last minute and had to pay full price just to see the last band, but it was still pretty awesome.

At one point during they're set, they're vocalist started to talk a bit. He said that the music industry is fucked, in every sense of the term. That there are bands and artists across the country from all walks of genres that are struggling with the way the industry is turning. He said that the bands that are still touring and putting their heart out there are the ones doing it for the reasons he had decided to do it years ago. Everyone that dropped that hat and gave up did it for a realistic sense but not because the loved to do it. This culture is not built on rockstars but by people that want to be heard.

Monday, August 16, 2010


Caught forever on paper torn tethered,
time sends its regards from pictures that never saw
the light of day.
Just tucked in a box and hoarded away
so that eyes could never gaze upon faces of old.
Memories that I had longed to hold.
So hold me now,
that I am not strong enough to hold myself.
I am old enough now to know better than to bare my cross alone.


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Just listened to some of Journal's new tracks, and wow its super progressive. They got Drew from Shadow of the Colossus and the guy from Embrace the End for vox

Thursday, July 29, 2010


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


I really liked this movie. The concept was really cool. It had to do with the fabric of the mind and how dreams effect our real lives. How dreams are a reflection of our subconscious as it perceives the conscious world we experience. I always was interested in the importance of dreams and how they can be a window to deeper, more inexplicable aspects of our mind. I always believed dreams have a relevance to our real lives and can help us understand ourselves more. At one point I even had a concept for my comic in which the character would experience and act within his dreams, and those actions would have a direct correlation with what happens to him in his real life the next day.

There was an especially interesting concept said in the movie detailing the actual process of dreams. It said that when you're dreaming, your mind is constantly creating and perceiving at the same time. Your subconscious is creating the dream scape world, people, and events simultaneously as you 'conscious self' is perceiving it. This interaction creates a duality between your subconscious and conscious beings, separating yourself into 2 beings in a sense. An active cause and effect between yourself and your imagination.

They even introduce the idea of how the sheer perception of time within a dream is exaggerated greatly. How can the mind have you experience a days worth of events withing minutes. That means your mind has you simultaneously experience all the elements of the dream at the same time. Past, present and future all at once. Something we cannot do in our real world.

Chris Nolan also worked with Hans Zimmer again for the musical score (as he did with Dark Knight) which I just downloaded, and its a good accent to the movie.

He claimed he's been working on this movie for over ten years and just wanted to wait until he had to technological and otherwise resources to actually film. This is similar to James Cameron's Avatar, who wrote the movie in 1995 according to him and waited until now when he had the appropriate CGI capabilities. Which also was a good movie. I guess these things take time and patiences pays off. We don't blame you James for stealing the script from Disney's Pocahontas. =P

Well I just talked a lot about movies so I'll give the keyboard a rest and continue listening to my soundtrack. =)

PS. Just confirmed Az'raels first show July 27th @ the Workshop with Wrath of Vesuvious and Belmont. Plus we're recording again August 3rd and 4th. Should be fun. =)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Reminisce Vol. 2

I remember last year around this time I was having cheeseburgers with Psyopus and Moltov Solution at In n' Out at Modesto after a show and we were having a conversation about the Socio-political content of they're lyrics. I told them I appreciate metal bands that take a meaningful approach to lyrics that add depth and add metaphorical or symbolic value to express abstract concepts that can sync with the abstract structure of metal music.

We also talked about how you could, theoretically, make any food animal style and it would improve it.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

What Dreams May Come...

I remember when I was about twelve or thirteen and my I was talking to my Mother. She used to be so involved with my life, so excited to watch me grow up. Used to dream about my college years, meeting my first love, and watching me become a man. She was saying how I was twelve now and its 1999, so I'll be eighteen in 2005 and that's when she can attend my graduation, which she would always bring up how excited she was to see me walk. She was so excited to see what she believed was my bright future blossom and unfurl. I imagined At that time, I imagined my future really was bright. I had this vivid depiction of an awesome, eventful, meaningful, life changing experience that would stretch across my high school years and reach well into my twenties. I thought it would be like a movie, with ups and downs, twists and turns that ultimately shape myself as a man and who I was going to be. An intricate story lined with heartbreak, enlightenment, love, passion, pain, spiritual epiphany, learning, gaining wisdom, and tranquility.

I imagined that day to be wonderful, the sun to be warm and the sky to be bright. I imagined the look on her face when I accepted my diploma, the single tear of joy that would cascade down her face when she saw me walking through the entrance of adulthood. I imagined that I would become all that she expected of me. I imagined that day to come.

But it didn't. A few years went by, and my Mother passed away.

I had a very unexpected and colorful next few years after. I went to a little college early, did the whole band thing for a while, met people and lived experience that I never thought I would. But it still felt unfulfilled.

I'm now 23 and part of me feels like I'm still waiting for that day, when I'm eighteen years old and waiting in line, wearing some robe and a hat in the shape of a square. Listening to some valedictorian give a speech about ambition and the future. Waiting to accept that look from her that says I can finally grow up.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Ghost hunting...

It would seem I've grown a taste for the unknown and the paranormal. After Byron Inn the group that I went with began to get more interested in scary things and started researching other assumed 'haunted' places online. One place specifically that kept reoccurring was this abandoned school way up in the east side hills of San Jose. Robert along with a few other people said that they knew about this place because people used to buzz about it in his high school in San Jose. From three separate testimonies from different people they all claimed it's scary as sh*t there. Two people said they would never go back and one guy said he felt as if something 'followed' him back. He said he would experience reoccurring nightmares and sometimes would feel a 'presence' pushing down on his chest when he would try to sleep at night.

That information was enough to spook half our friends from even going, but it only intrigued me more. So after work Rebecca, Ryan, Rob, Allan, Allan's brother, Nicole and me left in two cars to San Jose. Once we entered San Jose we found the street that we were supposed to follow. This street went for days. It cut though the majority of San Jose and we eventually began to escalate up the hills on the east side. It was a long and windy road that felt eerie even driving through. We had to literally slow down to about 15mph to accommodate the sharp and sudden turns. After about 20 min. or so the road started to cut into the mountain so we would be in between walls of the hill as if the road was in a ditch, the forest also began to grow much thicker and the trees were growing out of the walls and draped over the road, creating a creepy sort of atmospheric effect.

After about 30 min of winding through the treacherous path they proclaimed to be a road we finally got to this tall hill where the silhouette of a small school lied with its outline illuminated by the backdrop of the moonlight. Just looking at it alone sent a chill through the two cars. At that moment the majority of us decided that we weren't even gonna get out of the car. Not to sound tough guy about it but I was the first to exit the vehicle. The road in front of us was barricaded by a steel fence that had 6, I counted six different pad locks sealing it with a cliche "No Trespassing" sign. The school was diagonally isolated behind this steel fence and another barbed wire fence after that. I convinced Ryan and Allan at least to join me and we approached the menacing school.

We hopped the fence and crawled between the wires of barb and there we were. It looked old, weathered and decrepit. There were holes in the walls exposing the interior were you can see a mosaic blend of different graffiti and tag (common among these deserted "haunted" places). The building itself was elevated on four different stone pillars about 5 feet in the air. So I had to boost myself up on this 2'' by 4'' and hoisted myself through one of the holes. As soon as I entered the building the air felt thicker, almost dampened. It also got a lot colder inside, I could feel as if I wasn't alone as predicable as that sounds and it sent a shiver down my spine. Allan and Ryan followed shortly after and we explored the place. It was quaint and simple, a few small rooms surrounding the larger, main classroom. It seemed very odd to me that there was a tiny school located so far in the middle of nowhere, no surrounding houses or any civilization for that matter. The scariest room was in the back corner, it was the most effected by age. There was weird encryptions and symbols written on the wall, it looked almost cultist. It was about that time we had our fill of adrenaline and decided to leave. We got back to the car and convinced the girls to come up to the school, but they wouldn't walk inside.

After we showed the girls the spot we went back to the cars and started to drive home. We had to drop off Ryan in Livermore where he lives. He mentioned another popular "haunted" place in Livermore that he used to go to called "Rock boy".

It was this place near some warehouse buildings under an overpass where a track of rail roads resided. The story is this kid used to throw rocks against the stone wall of the over pass after school, one day he got hit by a train. The legend has it that if you park under the overpass near the tracks, turn off the car and lights, and wait in silence you can still hear rocks clacking against the wall.

So on the way to his house we decided to stop by this place. We parked, turned off the lights and music, and waited. After about 15 min. of silence I kid you not we started to hear a faint tapping against the stone wall. We all got freaked out a little bit but continued to wait. We heard another tapping noise but just a little louder and irked us more. We were already scared enough to leave but wanted to stay, then, suddenly we heard a loud smash that sounded something like a large stick thrown to the wall closest to us. As expected, we freaked and left post haste.

All in all it was a very eventful night and also very invigorating. I had a blast and am looking forward to our next "Ghost Hunt". Ryan said theres a ghost of a which that dwells in this abandoned building in Alemeda. Sounds fun =)

Btw last night I saw A Day to Remember, August Burns Red, Silverstien, and Enter Shakiri at the Rainbow ballroom in Fresno. I'll elaborate more next blogspot visit. =)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

April 2010

Ok, where to start, as I'm looking at Nicole sitting across from me in the living room looking for A Day to Remember/ August Burns Red/ Silverstein tickets I had decided to update. My Birthday was encompasingly awesome this year. I had a kick ass party at the farm which was hardly organized or promoted well at all but had a great turn around. I got to see all of my friends that I wanted to (well almost) and like 150 strangers showed up haha.

Nicole took me to the Giants game the day before and that was a great game, one of the most fun games I've been to in days, beat the Pirates 6-0

I also got a kick ass NY Giants throw back New Era cap, the Castlevania: Judgement game for Wii, and some awesome DC and Marvel Cupcakes! all from Nicole, she's so awesome I don't deserve her =) I got some graphic Novels from Jayr, and a baseball glove from Justin. This year was unavoidably awesome.

We were supposed to go to see A Day to Remember and August Burns Red as I forementioned. However we put off getting the tickets too long and the SF date is sold out. However we might trip to Fresno on May 3rd instead cause there is still tickets available there. Its a long shot but It could work.

Adventurous cupcakes

Monday, April 26, 2010

Byron Inn

Ok so I went to the Byron Inn tonight. It was like my fifth or sixth time going. It was my good friend and soon to be new room mate Brad's birthday so I wanted to do something fun. A few people from work were going to check out the Byron Inn, some have been there before, some first time. Nicole wanted to stay home (boo) so just Brad and I tagged along. As we pulled up I noticed that the sign that had once been tagged up by my friends years ago had been painted over. There was ten of us at first that approached the walkway, we hopped the jagged fence and proceeded. As we were strolling down the creepy, narrow walkway with our flashlights we starting hearing rustling noises coming from the brush. Some people started to get nervous but we realized it was just cows, then we realized that we were surrounded by cows, which was a little freaky. They started to chant and moo and run around which proved to scary for some of us and some of the group departed.

We continued down the windy path in the darkness with only the radiance of the moon's light to guide us. I've been here plenty times before mind you but this time had a weird aura to it. We all felt uneasy. Mind you I've been up and down that building in the past. I've gone through the dark corridors, down the daunting hallways covered in graffiti, built bon fires in the back yard, ascended the twisting staircases that leads to the top, all with its respective creepy-ness yet tonight still held a scary sense all its own.

As we finally approached the large, dark building hidden behind a large hill, we saw a light begin to emit from behind. We all stopped and walked to the right to get a glimpse of its source, and there sat a somewhat new looking white trailer. Everyone that's been here before knew off the bat that that hasn't been there before. Suddenly the light turned off and you could see the side of the trailer better. Some of us claimed to see someone move near it in the distance, possibly going inside the trailer. As we got a little closer to be able to see the side door the door suddenly opened and a tall, dark figure walked outside with something in his hand. That was the green light for the majority of us to freak out and retreat to the entrance of the walkway. While running back we all talked about what we saw. I vaguely saw a dark figure, But some with us, including Brad said they saw a very tall, possibly 8 ' tall man in a long, dark robe. Could have been anybody, it was weird.

I've heard of cultist shit going on out there, Seances, dark robes and such. That only added to the superstition. We eventually got back to the farm and played Cham-pong. Wish we could have made it inside the Inn tonight, but overall, it was a good night. =)

Almost forgot to post about recently passed Birthday! I'll be sure to do that next blogspot visit +)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


Im trying not to slip/ been trying not to lose footing/
Loose land keeps the pressure on my kicks/
and when I fall I tend to land like a ton of bricks/
stand like a man made of concrete and sediment like/
fuck your skin nobody needs it theres/ Bones and muscles and blood/
Whats realer than fat and tendons?/
Its raw no soft tissue to draw your eyes to it so far flesh aint the truest at all lets rip into it/
Were all sick of them missed shots/
passed over like the last man picked no team so pissed off/
and/ thats not honesty/
thats just soft curves got your world flipped/
got you makin mixtapes for girls/
and thats the skin again/
lets blame the skin again/ stretching itself so fluidly over these awkward/ ligaments/
and I didnt shave today/
I prolly wont tomorrow and its safe to say Im never gonna shed this extra (yeah)/

So fuck it back to the wall/
crush it/ laugh at em all/
hush/ let em try to find the beauty in your face/
something more than a song/
they hatin? Aw come on/
dust/ let em try to find the beauty in the bassline/
aw but then them words they dont change/
we wont sing with what will fade away/
yeah we do our own damn thing/
we dont blink at what tomorrow might bring (at all)/

- P.O.S.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


My car looks lonely.

It feels like forever since I've payed a contribution to my roughly put online journal of things. I haven't even posted since I've moved to my new place. Its a big ranch house off the cuts of Tracy. I like it a lot, very spacial and I love my new room mates (including our pet goats, Harry and Lloyd). It's kind of a party house which I have a love/hate opinion of. But I do consider it awesome we have no neighbors for a square mile.

Here is some pics of our evening squanders

and some awesome scenery outside

This was just a on a train passing through town, but still pretty cool

and this was just sitting on my desk, a mixture of show/rave flyers and my old Beaches cd

Monday, March 8, 2010

Why is it that im stuck on these memories and your off making new ones?

Friday, February 19, 2010

Another 'What if'

Since the universe is mathematically infinite what if we were just a by product of existence, suggesting that God has created us within our world and attempted to influence us and anoint us, but we failed. We had our chance during the biblical times and now our chance has passed. Although omnipotent what if he was not omnipresent and is now involved with a different world inhabited by different people/species of higher intelligence, trying to influence their lives for the better. Our abandoned existence has continued clinging on to the doctrines and dogma of thousands of years ago and we simply continued to progress and exist without him. With our own cluttered yet mosaic perspectives on reality and the conscious world, we are whats left. A by product of God's creation. A failed attempt. Our hope died with the Prophets of the past.

We've been forgotten.

Or, another possibility could be that what if he was omnipresent and sees all life, pain, suffer age and love in every stretch of the universe. Simultaneously present and aware of everything everywhere at any given time, but he is not omnipotent. Meaning he can see our different transgressions and blessings but does not posses the power to change them. We'd merely be an unfurling soap opera to him. He merely gave us the canvas to paint on and waited to watch what would become.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Interesting night

So Friday night while at work I was forwarded a text message saying 'Tell Brandon his ID is at 711' I have no idea how It got there especially since I had been pulled over the night before and thought I'd given my ID to the cop that night. LOL, well anyways after work I ventured over to the 711 and my old drummer Adam was working. He gave me the ID and said someone found it in the parking lot. I'm afraid I'll never know how that happened.

But anyway we ended up hanging out for quite a while making jokes about the customers and the domokun paraphernalia and I stayed until he got off work. I realized my dad was supposed to be playing a show at the Main St. Cafe downtown so I convinced Adam to go with me. It ended up he wasn't playing that night (however I did get to hear his jazz band the next night) Adam had work and I had places to go so we split but as we walked to our cars we started random conversation about existence and relativism.

Something he had read in a little paperback philosophy book he had gotten from the library. It was attempting to show the the concept of gods being to be 'all powerful' is contradicting. If some individual entity is all powerful then among these powers he eternally exists and cannot perish, correct? At the same time he would have the power to destroy all given matter, anything within anything of existence, absolute creation and destruction.

So Ultimately, can God kill himself?

If yes then he is not impervious, his power exceeds his durability.

If no then his being exceeds his control, he is not all powerful to destroy everything in existence.

Kind of enigmatic I guess.

Another interesting thing he brought up was an old Greek philosopher's idea of a triangle that has been the balance of man's connection with God since written history. Two of these three will always be a possible truth, able to interchange which two but all three will never co exist.

First being God is all powerful,

Second being God is all good,

and Third being there is suffering in the world.

If he's all good and there is suffering then he does not have the power to help us.
If he's all powerful and there is suffering then he does not care enough to help us.
and if he's all good and all powerful, there is no suffering.

Of coarse this raises the arguments of suffering being necessary to the human condition for the sake of experience and knowledge, but we won't get into that.

The funny thing is if you apply the contradiction of the 'all powerful' concept being impossible in its literal sense, then systematically that only leaves two out of the triangle to be ultimately true.

God is good and there will always be suffering.

there, the key to life, solved in a formula.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


..just realized I have a lot of shallow acquaintances that I should cut from my life. I don't need the conditional support of those who dupe me at their convenience. seriously fuck you and your hollow, aimless life. fuck love, I trust ambition. Ppl accept each others shameless lifestyles to justify their own. You can look someone in their eyes and see the listless void and just know they have no substance.

Think of the hours we waste just to be content, nobody is willing to take risks to attain what they truly want. All we do is fill our days with monetary gain and moderated sentiments because we follow the line below us, but what if you look to the sky? What if you trim the fat and cut the ties to all the anchors we're afraid to lose?

What if you let go?

Saturday, January 2, 2010


...was my last show with Alighieri, oh well start off the new year with a clean slate I suppose. I did have fun on New Years eve though. Hung out with Nicole on a couch at a little shin dig at Sean and Kim's house and listened to some drunk girl talk about objectifying women and feminism whilst my friend "Gmoney" asked where all the "hot ass single bitches were" lol. I'm also glad that I missed the rave cause it was sold out when Jerrad, Chantel and Robert got to the venue in Sac. Missssed the blue moon though!! =*( and lost my band =**(

Still have Az'rael though =)

This is my life

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Tracy, CA, United States
My thoughts are poured onto these pages